Sunday, August 23 — Satan's minion arrives unexpected at lair from routine weekend expedition — possibly cannibalistic rituals — enters upper level lair, trapped in suffocatingly close proximity. Attempts to restrain anger unsuccessful, BADDaSS confirms immediate departure necessary, stealthy concealment of Girl's Best Friend. SM exclaims, "Let me see that ring!" as departure ensues. BADDaSS classified staff in awe at SM's obvious lack of concern for ongoing opposition, gall at request.
14oo hours — Heated discussion in lower level lair with SPECTRE on Operation Mother Outlaw. BADDaSS becomes aware of SM attempting illegal wiretap of conversation, approves amplified intonations to provide SM with clear understanding of true feelings. BADDaSS notes SM's clumsy attempts at covert monitoring of classified meetings.
Monday, August 24 — Depart to undisclosed location for routine monetary transaction. SPECTRE suggests sojourn at favored resting station nearby. BADDaSS suspicious of SPECTRE's motives, approves alteration in plans.
1900 hours — Arrive at resting station with rations for locals. BADDaSS classified staff frustrated at domestic geese for denying Funyuns as appetizing. SPECTRE denies request to pelt geese with offerings. BADDaSS declares geese fat, lazy in subtle retaliation. SPECTRE reports small mouth bass attempting consumption of Funyuns. Animated viewing of process, evening reported as saved.
2000 hours — BADDaSS requests departure of station at onset of evening. SPECTRE displays signs of nervous behavior, babbles incoherently, enters gazebo structure overlooking body of water. Reaches into pocket. BADDaSS classified staff on alert for possible proposal. SPECTRE drops to one knee, issues proposal to BADDaSS for legal union. BADDaSS accepts proposal. SPECTRE awarded with bonus to compensation for official proposal. BADDaSS requests permission to announce engagement after one calendar year of suffering silence in unofficial engagement, due to absence of ring. SPECTRE approves request.
Tuesday, August 25 — BADDaSS approves declaration of engagement on personal Web sites. Engagement becomes Facebook official.
Wednesday, August 26 — BADDaSS alerts SPECTRE to developing situation regarding Girl's Best Friend. BADDaSS classified staff reports executive decision against returning GBF to SPECTRE for wedding ceremony use only, in return for Aquastone. GBF will remain with BADDaSS throughout entirety of engagement and marriage, no other alternative is acceptable. SPECTRE defects. Aquastone stored in place of GBF for wedding ceremony.
Thursday, August 27 — SPECTRE displays extreme possessive tendencies following engagement. Additional observation necessary, noted on file.
Friday, August 28 — BADDaSS disappointed at lack of awareness of GBF by peers at location of employment. Strategy plan for casual discovery by peers instituted.
Saturday, August 29 — 10-14 to undisclosed location for possible resolution of Operation Satin. Interrogation of wedding dress shop owner, codename Queen of Queens. Queen of Queens assures BADDaSS of ability to access needed material at negotiated low expenditures. 10-66 on Operation Satin, successful venture.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
About Me
Blog Archive
Persons of interest
- The Bride
- The Groom — codename SPECTRE, Special Tactics and Reconnaisance, aka the informant
- The Mother — codename PUSHY, President of the Unified and Symbiotic Honorary Youngsters
- The Father
- The Matron of Honor — type 1, codename Sissy
- The Matron of Honor — type 2, codename Cutie Pie
- The Personal Attendant — codename FIRST, Formal Interceptor for Relief of Stress and Tension
- The Mother-in-law — codename Satan's minion
- The Tent Guy
- The Centerpiece Contact
- The Florist
- The Rations Provider
- The Jeweler
- The DJ
- The Baker
CLASSIFIED STAFF ONLY — Codename report
- Aquastone — gemstone engagement ring
- Girl's Best Friend — diamond wedding ring
- Slipper — ceremony footwear
- Central hub — ceremony, reception location
- Paperball — paper lantern decor
- Brooch — gemstone pin for The Bride and Merry Gang
- Theme — Happily Ever After paraphernalia, decor
- Fiesta — tent reception
- Merry — wedding ceremony
- Gang — wedding party
- Alleyway — Hobby Lobby department store
- Michaelangelo — Michael's department store
- BADDaSS — Bridal Aesthetics Department of Defense and State Security
Emergency codes
- 10-30 — Does not conform to rules or regulations
- 10-4 — acknowledgement
- Code Yellow — Dead on arrival
- 10-89 — Caution
- 10-37 — No rush
- Green light, Greenlit — hit approved
- 10-22 — Disregard
- Code Blue — Cardiac arrest
- Code Green — Psychiatric
- MIA — Missing in action
- AWOL — Away without official leave
- 10-14 — Convoy or escort
- 10-34 — Trouble at _ , all units respond
- 10-90 — Crime in progress
Operations in effect
- Operation Indian Giver — objective, to appeal to SPECTRE's sympathies for approval to keep and wear ring until wedding ceremony — full effect
- Operation White Wedding — objective, to mend ongoing turmoil between bride and Satan’s minion for the sake of avoiding altercation or imprisonment for bloodshed, possible strangulation — terminated
- Operation DIY — objective, to undermine enemy monopoly on highly overrated footwear fatigue by self-assembly — in effect, periodical updates
- Operation Satin — objective, to locate less expensive sash fatigue materials — full effect
- Operation Aquastone — objective, to recover engagement gemstone ring from informant — full effect
- Operation Amethyst — objective, to locate gems for female officials in Merry Gang — temporary termination
- Operation Ancestor — classified staff only — waiting final transaction
- Operation Glitz — objective, to locate gems for Merry fatigues — temporary termination
- Operation Little Flower, Big Wheel — objective, to obtain centerpieces reflecting theme, flower decor — postponed
- Operation Mother Outlaw — objective, to extract future mother-in-law from bridal process — full effect, high alert
Followers