Sunday, August 16 — SPECTRE consents to my utilization of broad sword class A lethal weapon. Consultation with BADDaSS, permission denied for executing final solution to Operation Mother Outlaw. Plan B initiated, photographs with weapon taken at undisclosed location, possible delivery to Satan's minion in future for clear warning of intentions if wedding sabotage finds success.
Wednesday, August 19 — Travel with Cutie Pie for shopping expedition. Purchase fatigues for SPECTRE for upcoming celebration with comrades. Ill foreboding of SPECTRE's extreme laziness in maintaining self-preservation. BADDaSS declares Satan's minion at fault for newly found SPECTRE shortcomings.
Friday, August 21 — Receive communication from SPECTRE of completed Girl's Best Friend. BADDaSS aborts following day's schedule to acquire and secure Girl's Best Friend. BADDaSS staff wracked with anticipation. Aquastone conflict deserted.
Saturday, August 22 — Escorted by SPECTRE to location of jeweler and Girl's Best Friend. Jeweler occupied by civilian upon entrance. Civilian immediately charged with obstructing the bridal process, BADDaSS special operatives remove civilian from premises by force. Without further hesitation, jeweler showcases GBF. BADDaSS approving of larger than expected dimensions. Shimmer of GBF sets heart aflutter. BADDaSS begins immediate calculation of risk involved in reneging on former contract with SPECTRE regarding time limit on wearing of ring. Operation Indian Giver initiated — objective, to appeal to SPECTRE's sympathies for approval to keep and wear ring until wedding ceremony.
1600 hours — Showing of ring to Cutie Pie, comrades at celebration. Cutie Pie reaction less than stellar. BADDaSS approves dock in compensation, charged with revoking gratification at otherwise exuberant culmination of engagement process.
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About Me
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Persons of interest
- The Bride
- The Groom — codename SPECTRE, Special Tactics and Reconnaisance, aka the informant
- The Mother — codename PUSHY, President of the Unified and Symbiotic Honorary Youngsters
- The Father
- The Matron of Honor — type 1, codename Sissy
- The Matron of Honor — type 2, codename Cutie Pie
- The Personal Attendant — codename FIRST, Formal Interceptor for Relief of Stress and Tension
- The Mother-in-law — codename Satan's minion
- The Tent Guy
- The Centerpiece Contact
- The Florist
- The Rations Provider
- The Jeweler
- The DJ
- The Baker
CLASSIFIED STAFF ONLY — Codename report
- Aquastone — gemstone engagement ring
- Girl's Best Friend — diamond wedding ring
- Slipper — ceremony footwear
- Central hub — ceremony, reception location
- Paperball — paper lantern decor
- Brooch — gemstone pin for The Bride and Merry Gang
- Theme — Happily Ever After paraphernalia, decor
- Fiesta — tent reception
- Merry — wedding ceremony
- Gang — wedding party
- Alleyway — Hobby Lobby department store
- Michaelangelo — Michael's department store
- BADDaSS — Bridal Aesthetics Department of Defense and State Security
Emergency codes
- 10-30 — Does not conform to rules or regulations
- 10-4 — acknowledgement
- Code Yellow — Dead on arrival
- 10-89 — Caution
- 10-37 — No rush
- Green light, Greenlit — hit approved
- 10-22 — Disregard
- Code Blue — Cardiac arrest
- Code Green — Psychiatric
- MIA — Missing in action
- AWOL — Away without official leave
- 10-14 — Convoy or escort
- 10-34 — Trouble at _ , all units respond
- 10-90 — Crime in progress
Operations in effect
- Operation Indian Giver — objective, to appeal to SPECTRE's sympathies for approval to keep and wear ring until wedding ceremony — full effect
- Operation White Wedding — objective, to mend ongoing turmoil between bride and Satan’s minion for the sake of avoiding altercation or imprisonment for bloodshed, possible strangulation — terminated
- Operation DIY — objective, to undermine enemy monopoly on highly overrated footwear fatigue by self-assembly — in effect, periodical updates
- Operation Satin — objective, to locate less expensive sash fatigue materials — full effect
- Operation Aquastone — objective, to recover engagement gemstone ring from informant — full effect
- Operation Amethyst — objective, to locate gems for female officials in Merry Gang — temporary termination
- Operation Ancestor — classified staff only — waiting final transaction
- Operation Glitz — objective, to locate gems for Merry fatigues — temporary termination
- Operation Little Flower, Big Wheel — objective, to obtain centerpieces reflecting theme, flower decor — postponed
- Operation Mother Outlaw — objective, to extract future mother-in-law from bridal process — full effect, high alert
Followers
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